Reflection Post-Breakup

Can I do anything right?
I feel so useless and stupid. FUCK. I am such a child. Maybe I don’t have a future. Maybe it’s all listless and hopeless. I am so so SO STUPID
I feel stupid because I can’t get over him
It’s probably all the better that no one reads this. 
It’s been a month since he blocked me on Facebook and his cellphone. (actually that happened earlier)
I should be over it but I have still been writing sappy poetry and mentioning him in conversation. Which is why I don’t want to hang out with my friends. I feel so pathetic because I am still dwelling on this relationship after it is over. I don’t know how I am going to get over it because the no contact break was so quick and brutal. I don’t think I will ever forgive him but I miss him. This sucks. It really fucking sucks. I don’t want to feel so pathetic and I don’t want to be dwelling on him for the rest of college. I don’t want to be doing so horrible in my classes right now. I don’t want to spend all my time in my room. I don’t want to procrastinate on my homework. I don’t want to be analyzing whatever I could have done wrong and being depressed. You can tell me he doesn’t deserve me and it wouldn’t help me right now. So I don’t know what to do. Just have no clue right now. 
He made it so clear that I wouldn’t get a text message from him again, that I wouldn’t see him again and that we wouldn’t be friends. So why am I upset? Why do I feel like I have lost all shreds of dignity?

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