Words I Will Never Say

I wish I could remember life before I met you
But it seems like you were always the notes I wrote
The dreams I dreamed
Now trying to look back at the way my life was going
I knew it was always leading to you
There were the signs everywhere
The way I could look at the stars and know you were there
That somewhere you existed
That life would someday bring you to me
Now this place is a graveyard of my dreams
And you are going away
I suppose it was necessary to move on from you
Maybe if it is only for a little while
But god
I love you
I know I have fucked it up
I know how seriously and utterly I have fucked up everything with us
But I can't imagine my life without you
You really care about people
You give me a purpose for going
I just wish I could have given you one
Which is why I know have adopted this new lifestyle
And man
It isn't exactly what I had hoped for
This isn't really the person I wanted to be
I just want to mean something to someone
The way you meant something to me
Perhaps I will see you again
Perhaps this headache inside will finally subside
There will be no more pain and no more drama
Because there will only be clear space for the both of us to move on with our lives
You and me
There is no better people meant to be together in this world
Yet
I suppose
I still cannot have you
And maybe I don't deserve you
That's okay but
Please
Just please
Listen
Really listen
Because I can't find the words
I can't find the feelings to describe what is going on in my heart
Only misery
Because the one person I really want to talk to is nowhere beside me
Come back
Come back and love me
I know it isn't simple
I know people can't just love people
But if you could at least try to love me
Maybe you would like me
Then maybe if you would like me
You would love me
This is not a poem
This is a plea
These are the words I will never say

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