Words I Will Never Say

I wish I could remember life before I met you
But it seems like you were always the notes I wrote
The dreams I dreamed
Now trying to look back at the way my life was going
I knew it was always leading to you
There were the signs everywhere
The way I could look at the stars and know you were there
That somewhere you existed
That life would someday bring you to me
Now this place is a graveyard of my dreams
And you are going away
I suppose it was necessary to move on from you
Maybe if it is only for a little while
But god
I love you
I know I have fucked it up
I know how seriously and utterly I have fucked up everything with us
But I can't imagine my life without you
You really care about people
You give me a purpose for going
I just wish I could have given you one
Which is why I know have adopted this new lifestyle
And man
It isn't exactly what I had hoped for
This isn't really the person I wanted to be
I just want to mean something to someone
The way you meant something to me
Perhaps I will see you again
Perhaps this headache inside will finally subside
There will be no more pain and no more drama
Because there will only be clear space for the both of us to move on with our lives
You and me
There is no better people meant to be together in this world
Yet
I suppose
I still cannot have you
And maybe I don't deserve you
That's okay but
Please
Just please
Listen
Really listen
Because I can't find the words
I can't find the feelings to describe what is going on in my heart
Only misery
Because the one person I really want to talk to is nowhere beside me
Come back
Come back and love me
I know it isn't simple
I know people can't just love people
But if you could at least try to love me
Maybe you would like me
Then maybe if you would like me
You would love me
This is not a poem
This is a plea
These are the words I will never say

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Day You Set Me Free

It was the afternoon of the day I died. The church was holding an after school service for the students of local high schoolers because they knew that high schoolers no longer get up at eight in the morning on a Sunday to attend a church service. My parents wanted me to make friends so I attended.  I went into the building and was surrounded by a mass of teenagers talking and chatting while leaning up against the walls. Everyone had a friend but as I looked around for someone to talk to, I found more and more people staring at me. So I made a beeline to the bathroom. The people in the hall eventually cleared and followed the adults into the auditorium. "Should I go? Should I not go?" I asked myself this. The halls were beginning to become more empty. I stayed in the bathroom. The band began to play and I cried to myself. After two hours, the service had ended. A few girls had gone into the bathroom at the time noticing a girl sitting by herself on the toiled but they
Read more

Psychology

Psychology has a lot of flaws and mostly it is shit when you study it for too long. I don't want to go into all the long, extraneous details (so this may sound unfactual but you the reader need to trust me as a credible voice from my own perspectives, research and experience saving you time in going through every piece of boring research from the other side that is a bunch of bullshit) but until you are locked in a mental institution and forced on psychiatric drugs and are told there is no future awaiting you as you feel impending guilt you did something wrong - you won't realize how redundant and fabricatory the stuff is. Sure we can be depressed from time to time but that doesn't mean we have a chemical imbalance. A "chemical imabalance" doesn't even exist. There is no science to prove it. Psychology is only a field meant to help you discover ways of solving your problems. It should never be viewed as "one-size-fits-all" or that a pill can fix all
Read more