Raw

I feel disgusting. Not in the way that I am actually disgusting but in the way that no matter how many times I try to clean myself, I find myself getting dirtier and dirtier. Perhaps I am scratching my soul wrong. Is it possible to eat metal? I heard that the only way to not contaminate yourself is not to indulge into the small little luxuries that go along with food on a plate. Often the food is drenched in calories. Not me. I drink the carbonated soda from the soda machine at my school. It's midnight and my brain is running itself dry. What if I start really trying to fix myself? What would I become out of my own intent focus? Can a brain really stop working when it is trying so hard to do something that it is not programmed to do? That is what I ask myself when I am trying to get thoughts of you out of my mind. How far I will have to go to re-program my mind.

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