11:33 thoughts

Fuck I need to get over him
It wasn't supposed to happen like this
I wasn't supposed to fall in love with someone so much older than me
He wasn't supposed to kiss me
Or fuck me
He wasn't supposed to walk away
I wasn't supposed to stay at home for a year and a half after he left
Never believing I would be in another relationship again
I wasn't supposed to turn down 40+ guys over the internet
Nor stop having sex
Believing myself to be a lesbian
Nor was he supposed to come back
To stop caring
Unless it was for sex
Or friendship
Never love
I wasn't supposed to want to meet him
I was supposed to come out of my shell
To try to move on
To get a place to live
To get a job
I could still get that but
There was that stupid RA I fell in love with
Who was just nerdy enough
To turn my whole world upside down

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