One Day

Well. Soon the guy I love will be graduating. My ex and his girlfriend have gone 6 months together. They want me to join them in a polymorphic relationship but I declined. The reason is this: I am done with superficial relationships and being superficial. I never loved my ex A. I was always in love with S. Even as I gave the most intimate part of myself away to A, I was wishing it was S. I strung him along for a long time and he strung me along too. Then he got with his girlfriend. I am afraid that she is being strung along as well. See I always was protective over A. I see part of himself in me with his selfish idealism and grand beliefs about the world as well as in his own righteousness. I know what it must feel like for him to want to believe that everything is going to be fine from here on out, but it is not. He can't keep playing this game forever. Someday he will realize that but it's not in my power to punish him. Karma will do it itself as Karma has done it to me. I lo...

I  know you I remember you Your soul knows mine We were together for a moment in time He grew up In a Catholic family He was a gorgeous boy Attending a private school He shot up before his time  All the younger boys looked up to him He was accepted into a prestigious school Where he met his first love Who smiled at him so friendly-like A beautiful blonde haired, brown eyed girl She cheated on him He vowed to never love another woman again I caught his glare a few times He was like a beautiful prince He rejected me cold Then I was filled with a frenzy To recreate that heaven A land of Kings and Queens I may never be able to join Until a Black Swan came and ate my soul Innocence crushed like a dying rose His parents broke up His mom is such a beautiful smile She found a boyfriend A black man Who gave her love His father remarried A blonde trophy wife After trying marijuana and hard drugs Putting cigarette bur...

I am alone but not anyone will do When I step off the edge It will be me alone facing the fire She is like a Native American woman With her guns and her loyal Confederate paintings A flat screen television Cabinets black Bed red and black She lives like a vampire Her dog bares sharp teeth and runs around the house The bar is meant for entertainment She is home She is free I am alone Not a person will do I am alone I don't know what to do I am falling under the sheets in my room I don't try to move because the room is pitch black Dogs bark in the distance of the woods If I tried to walk, I would be lost She is humble and kind Cooing over her baby girl sitting in her lap She talks about the country store Pickled eggs, frosted pretzels, powder for smoothies and hot cocoa, sealed tiny marshmallows  Her husband will be back soon I am alone and I don't know why I look in the mirror and I don't know what to do My grandma says, "I would smile if I were as pretty as you....

It's time for the game Donning red and black Hotdogs and hamburgers among the fall leaves Booze and bottles all over the grass Rap music playing from the speakers Students hurrying from their dorm rooms to the stadium from the game Each building stands tall as a temple to learning with it's white columns reaching towards the sky This is home Where all students of learning at any age are able to come back and rejoice in their patriotism for their school It is turning to evening I bet going on this campus to classes is like falling in love but I was never invited I never got my acceptance letter I wanted to go to this school Wanted to lean on the edge of the upper floor of the library Staring into the forests Writing stories of witches, vampires, castles, Kings and Queens  Reading Bronte, Dickens, Austen, Plath, Twain, Dickinson and Tolstoy When I was rejected from this school My passion wavered too Because it wasn't the same anymore in the tropical heat I found comfort in ai...

The smoke trickles into the air from the chimney Inside the cabin is the smell of meat roasting and being marinated The smell is the only comforting thing as I wait to eat I dig my hands in my pocket My fingers are freezing I curl my knuckles  The eerie white snow is falling off the mountains that hum Where the Indians once saw spirits of animals  The bear, the eagle, the fox, the buffalo... Each animal was given thanks to for the meal and were respected for their spirits As day fades to night, the sunset makes it's last peak over the horizon before settling inside the valley The darkness sings from far beyond An owl hoots a warning: "Get home. The predators are out." The cold echoes the sounds of space Stars dangle in the sky that is eerily quiet The moon shines from overhead The planet hangs in space While I feel from the inside I am on a great spaceship Heading to a journey unknown By some amazing calculation Generation after generation has succeeded on this planet I f...

It is harvest time The lights are beginning to blare inside the windows Trumpets sing their jazzy sounds The drums beat in time Apple cider is being served in cups foe the football game People are excited Hooping and hollering in the football stands Cheering for their local high school team Girls don themselves in big jackets Scarfs covering their necks to add flare to their outfit There is nowhere to go The fields go on endlessly Each piece of straw floating airily in the breeze Swish Back and forth The fields are becoming yellow Get in the car and keep going Run far as you can  Zoom down the road in your fastest miles per hour The family is aging The generations are becoming greater and greater The students are graduating and moving onto careers and jobs Life moves on because Fall initiates the change Promises with Macy's products and commercialism  To light up the winter into spring

My hands are too small My arms are too weak My eyes are too sad My brain is too slow My feet are breaking My fingers are slippery My hearing is muffled My hair is raggedy My heart is cold My chest is tired I melt into the bed Pills in my hand You can try to save me but you will fail See my tears? They are cried for you You want me to stand but stand I can't do You will watch me fall and that will be all Because I was never yours I could never be yours While you hold me and shake me and tell me "I'm here" I'm not here and you can't rescue me I am sorry you tried I wanted you to succeed but as you fill my body You find nothing All of it is Empty... Empty.... Empty... Broken pieces of a beautiful painting you can't put back together