One Day

When I walk into the ballroom Full of beauty and grace Your eyes linger Old and crinkly Jacket making me warm You are underground now

Rolling in bed Desiring sleep Something to give me good dreams Nighttime and no noise No one calling my name Or breathing out in the dark I miss you The lights shine on the lake Midnight approaches Time we had comes to an end More time to wait Less time to feel happy and whole Missing my friend Weekend coming Empty conversations Reveling in the past Problems I make up Pushing people away Got to put on a happy face Even within all the misery Dean Buckner is watching Hospital in Savannah Waiting for my return The loss of a dream Onslaught of failure Cold sheets and light blaring in the hallway Lady in a chair, making sure I don't hurt myself Child crying Youth behind me Wondering about you lately If your marriage is better Feeling lonely in my own home Flights below Looking over the city Cold echoes Future has arrived The world is colder and less certain At any moment, death screams to approach

The world I entered is darker Foreign Completely far away from what I expected Once I was a puritan The world I lived in was organized All my plans were methodological I was a certain person True to life's many surprises I found myself falling down the rabbit hole It has many layers There is a desire for self-denial and complete lack of instant gratification There is the world of purity and unwavering belief in a creator Now there is the world of darkness, the bridge between good and evil So many layers I forget who I am Once I was sure There was direction Meaning Purpose I would very much like to wake from this reverie Even then, isn't life an eternal dream? When oh when will I wake up?

Like a painting on the wall Suddenly sitting in the closet Forgotten and covered in cob webs Was it that the time I had with you was really so limited? I feel free really I guess this is what I wanted Feeding turtles and spending time in nature I just can't help but wonder why I trusted someone who turned out so mean You know you are So cruel Being punished by your cruel rumors When the moment you took my innocence away, You lied to me Telling me a fantasy that wasn't true Once upon a time, you cared Now no one does Am I more free? Am I happier? I just wish I was helpless again I know I am stronger Just wish that I could be rediscovered again You hurt me far more than I hurt you Just not realizing it You laugh Completely having forgotten me Everything is more cruel when it affects you You hardly notice when someone else is hurting

I want to eat Planet Earth Every dream All the souls So I can reflect each living creature Yet using my magic to be popular isn't the answer The only way to moksha is through hard work, pain and practice

Can't you just find me now? God, give me the wisdom of 105 and the beauty of 17

Just as much as I need to jump into belief I need to surrender to disbelief I need to lose what I hold dear Find my way to carry on Despite the romance you hold A fairy tale I do not know Certainty and long-lasting love You tell me to walk alone Will I always be alone? This is my destiny To live the single life For you cannot be two if you aren't one I wish I could skip that stuff though So I smile everyday Hoping you rub off on me