One Day

There is so much I discovered today and there is still some stuff I don't get. Let's just clear things up for anyone who might be following this blog. My family must have an addiction problem. My grandmother Geraldine and her sister Aunt Trudy were really into Psychology and Psychiatry. Aunt Trudy was always justifying the medication she was taking for her erratic behavior. Eventually she committed agravated battery and died of too many drugs. Geraldine loved my Grandad and though they broke up because he was being very flirtatious to other women, she moved back to Florida and got a 6 year degree in Psychology wanting to be a therapist. Only she must have felt drunk and maybe suicidal even when she found out my grandad met his new lady - my stepgrandmother - then went and got on the highway. Committed vehicular homicide. That was that. Nothing to show for her life. I guess it seems unfair to me even though she did kill another person and caused a lot of grief in another family.

When my grandmother and my grandad broke up and she found out of his affair with a young latina women, my grandmother drank whiskey and drove on the highway going the opposite direction, She ran into a head-on collision with in an incoming truck and killed a person. She died of a drug withdrawal August 1, 1991 in Palm Bay, Florida. My grandad is still married by the way. So I bet you enjoyed it Face it, I know you did Last night up in your dorm room There were two different girls One was named Amy and the other was named Sarah Amy is black and she is a good Christian you met in Baptist Collegiate Ministries Sarah is white and she is your girlfriend. She also liked girls. She agreed to share them with you. "That is why I love you" you said. "You are mature and don't get jealous like other girls." So you stuck your dick in Amy She took it like a good whore While you choked her throat Sarah sucked her tits Then you stuck your dick in your girlfriend

I can't believe that there are guys going around expecting their girlfriends to allow them to have sex with other women. I can't believe that there is so many people who think this is okay when the man will probably leave her for the other women. How can a woman watch as her boyfriend makes love to another woman? How can this be expected to be okay but not be the other way around? Why do men look at us like we are cattle? I would rather die than go through that and I have had many guys that didn't want to put up with me because they called me "crazy." I wouldn't put up with a friends with benefits or polyamory. I was "selfish and only thinking of myself." I can't sleep. I can't breathe tonight. I don't know why people continue to think this is okay when it made me want to kill myself at age 16. A whole cult of people thinking polygamy and polyamory is okay is not good. They don't understand how detrimental it is to a person's self

All that I gave up to you Amidst all my fear Led to the bare skin of our bodies touching You called me beautiful and told me you loved me It was never enough and now you are with her The responses on your Facebook photo "You guys look so cute together!" As you smile cause you feel you found love I sit in the darkness of my room Loudly crying as my roommate talks to her boyfriend next door She called me a "slut" I cry and I cry Nobody will ever find me beautiful again All of it was for nothing Every hope I had for a long lasting love was dashed My quests for love were in vain You can just continue all your bad behavior I can continue to get insulted by the internet You grow fatter and taller Your eyes pop out at the sight of your meal Filthy cannibal My limbs ache Plastered to my bed Life goes on The Prince will find a new Cinderella I thought I was she I turned into her nasty stepsister by the time you were done with me Now who could ever

He has been the third guy in a long time to call me a stalker. Said I imagined the whole relationship. That the letter on my car was from someone else and that I was too blinded in infatuation for him to see the truth. That he did in fact use me for sex (again the third guy), felt sort of bad but not really because it's just too hard to try and be a good person. Asked for me to "Please don't contact me again. Even when you feel guilty about this hours later, don't text me." I feel like I have been shot in the foot really. I know I tend to over-idealize things but we really did have something going at some point. Perhaps I clung on or maybe he just changed his mind. (Probably the later.) So yeah. Now I am a slut and a stalker. My ex's are still doing fine without me and I am left really to wonder why I keep chasing "nice dorky guys" who really just "use me for sex." I would infer that there aren't any good guys in the world or that I am