One Day

The real reason I wanted to graduate early was because I wanted to catch up with you and be your equal. I'm always trying to be your equal because in some way, I still imagine you'll come back for me. Even when it is so hopeless and you're so far away. You fill me with a fear that gives me no comfort because the idea of any woman enjoying you reminds me that you're moving farther and farther away from me. I don't think you ever really realized how much you mean to me. How much I love you. Cause I deeply love you even when it is unreciprocated and I would gladly heal your wounds or make you happy just to please you. I still haven't been able to meet anyone in your likeness yet the idea of sending you nude pictures makes me feel cheap and farther away from you. I so badly wish that I have another chance with you. To kiss you under the stars and feel your love. Just to be near you and your spirit. Yet I already knew we were doomed from the start and even when I ima

In September of 2013, I was having problems with my roommate at university. I thought going to a counseling office would help. Instead, I was proclaimed to have had a psychotic break and   was sent away to a mental hospital. I was put on Risperdal, Zoloft and Depkatote. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I spent the next two years being switched around on many medications. My reaction to medications was not good. My grades plummeted because of the medication I was on. Zoloft gave me manic-depressive cycling that lasted over the course of a few hours. Ambilify made me very hypersexual and I ended up sleeping with 6 guys – something that was out of my character and I had considered I would never do. Yet the blame was put on my Bipolar Disorder. I was also having bad periods. The periods were blamed on the sex I was having, not having any physical conditions checked. I was on Lithium and another mood stabilizer at the time. I was getting so lethargic that I would pass out on